[cindyloo]

People stop pushing
you can't pull me away.
Here where I am
is the place I will stay.
You give me your counsel
though I don't even ask.
I'm not really listening,
my mind obsessed with it's task.
Stop pushing and shoving!
My love loyal and fierce.
You'll burn from my heat.
A fire burning for years.
I see that your talking
but I've turned off the sound.
My thoughts unfold into tears
as they quietly drop to the ground.
You think that you see me
but I'm not really there.
I'm lost and lonely in the distance
searching for answers somewhere.
So be silent and still
as I retreat to my hole.
Where my pain is my own
and I guard what's left of my soul.

Cindy

I wrote this poem after returning to work 4 weeks after my son passed. My bosses have really hurt my feelings and generally made me feel terrible about myself. They just are always trying to push me into being how I was before. I am not that person now. They said things like "You need to move on now.", "You know life does go on." One boss called me at home and said "I know you loved your son but he's gone now and you have to move on." Another boss (I have many) asked my co-worker if I was using drugs or alcohol becasue they couldn't figure out why I act differently. This stuff hurts but I don't say anything back. huh: They don't understand and I cannot explain my feelings to them. Writing that poem made me feel much better for a while. Thanks for reading it. :

[mlg]

It sounds like maybe all you need and possibly want is a hug so here it is(((((((((Cindy))))))))
When you're ready to talk, we're all here.